May 2013
swagpancake:
my sister wrote a paragraph about...
Interviewer: You’ve obviously been very busy since the show ended. Do people approach you more for “Arrested” or for something like “Superbad”?
Michael Cera: More than anything people recognize me from “The Social Network,” which I was not in.
My mom hired a transgender girl this week...
Co-worker: Did you know she's really a guy?
Mom: Not when I hired her but yes, I am aware now.
Co-worker: How could you hire someone like that?
Mom: Easy, she's adorable and more than capable of doing the job.
Co-worker: Well as a mother, I am appalled that he's allowed to work somewhere with people's children.
My mom: Listen here lady, that IS someone's child you're talking about. You are an adult. Stop acting like a child. SHE is a wonderful GIRL.
Co-Worker: Well I just don't feel safe sharing a bathroom with her.
Mom: Okay, she's transgender, not some kind of sexual predator. She's not going to attack you in the bathroom. She's obviously a better person than you. You know what? Why don't you go complain to management about it because your ignorance and hate is really pissing me off.
Seriously guys.... My mom is AMAZING.
horcruxs:
it may seem like i’m always online
and that’s because i am
nepetaleijon:
well if troy can tell his secret than i can tell mine
i bake
condommodel:
stop being cute you live far away
dysfunctional-black-man:
I’m so awkward, but I hope you guys still love me
magicconchshell:
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
hell is a place where you’re strapped to a chair and forced to watch an endless slideshow of every picture of yourself that you deleted
frankieroisunderyourbed:
i think that being a fall out boy and my chemical romance fan at the same time was the best and the worst decision of all my life
rabioheab:
people who brag about doing drugs are annoying but people who brag about not doing drugs are also annoying
corgay:
the-blog-of-anne-frank:
I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry
oh my fucking god
Worst feelings in the world
aberrant-albert:
sheenathehyena:
datekougyous:
Failing a test you studied really hard for
Getting replaced in a friendship
Getting ignored
Having something that you’re looking forward to, get cancelled
Having to fight back tears in front of people
Finding out that the person you like, likes someone else
Goodbyes
Showing your parents something you’re proud of only to get a...
grandkanye:
i put the me in shame
thewaywardfox:
protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”
disney-pixars:
When I was a kid, I always thought I’d be just like Kim Possible. Turns out, I am Wade.
Reblog if you're a nobody on Tumblr but you're...
getoffmybloghoe:
it makes me uncomfortable that they dont shoot movie scenes in order
1chainz:
who is interested in dating an ugly girl who sleeps all day
fractiousdebutante:
your blog is basically what your bedroom wall would be if no one cared
bluestiel:
pet names for your significant other, courtesy of Jay Gatsby:
old sport
old sport
the glowing green light of my life
old sport
Dad spends school year waving at bus, embarrassing...
gettin-nakie-outside:
urethrafranklin:
When does it start getting embarrassing for the son?
sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
homleschapel:
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
